The Apple Orchard?

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘮? 𝘓𝘰𝘰𝘬, 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘶𝘯!”

My seven year old said to me after we finished a painting.
Faintly playing in the background was 𝘎𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 by The Rosebuds perfectly in tune with the pitter patter of the rain drops falling on the porch.

It is evening and I could barely see outside, as the window panes had become foggy.
But, I could see and sense clearly what my seven year old’s keen eye for art observed.

Art and music is a special place where we both meet, it is something that has connected us for long now.
And, I couldn’t be more happy and grateful for the same.
But, today as I look at my painting, and this shadow of a girl holding a basket full of red apples, over looking at this huge apple orchard somewhere in the mountains. I think.

Is she afraid to enter? Why was she afraid to enter? Now that my son had planted the seed of curiosity in me. I tried to solve this riddle in my mind.
I could have painted her plucking an apple or two. Why did I draw her at the periphery?

What were the apples in her basket symbolical of? Relationships, bonds, love, kids, responsibilities ?? Maybe yes!

Maybe that is why she decided to stay, take it slow, navigate her way into this orchard. Hasn’t she traveled long collecting apples on her way to reach here already. She seems to be contemplating on something.

I am in my mid thirties.
Today, I have worked hard to reach a point in my life where I can see myself clearly.
This orchard has been here from long waiting for me to avail the opportunities.
It is filled with those shiny apples that I have longed for.
But, am I ready to leave my loaded basket that I have carried this far.
Well, Not yet! Maybe that Is why today I am afraid to enter.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘺𝘦𝘵.

And, I won’t be until my kids are ready to enter their own orchard all by themselves.
I just want to wait here till then. I have decided to slow down. I fear once I enter I will be lost chasing my dreams.

The comparison in two paintings also brought to light something interesting.

Children mostly are fearless until an adult unconsciously project their learnt fears onto them.
They do not think they are incompetent until they are told that they are not good enough in a particular task, or they are too fat, or too thin, too dark or too fair.
We pull them in our own shadows to the extent that they forget their own light.

My son’s painting is fearless as compared to mine.
He is right there!
He is enjoying the beauty of the orchard, he is enjoying the apples (opportunities), he is busy filling his basket, he also has a ladder (symbolical of maybe emotional support).

I was happy to see that unconsciously till now I have not imposed my fears on him. I was happy to see the light and spirit that he is celebrating in his painting that belongs only to him and are not a reflection of anyone else’s.

I study about kids psychology. And, when amalgamate my knowledge of literature, and my experience as a mother with it, I am bound to unlearn the conventional parenting techniques so that my kids can flower into their true self, and find their true calling, and someday reach their own big apple orchard brimming with opportunities.

And, then decide if they want to stay or move ahead.