The pandemic has caused an insurmountable amount of grief, loss and devastation — primarily; the past few months have been harrowing for people I consider extremely close. I have been worried about them, my family and everyone I dearly love.
Indeed, Love is such a thing! It comes with its share of pain.
I have seldom been explicit about how much it has affected me because somehow, I believed that I would pass on my anxiety to my kids. Perhaps that is why I just have felt a need more than ever to escape from the bare realities to their simple, beautiful world brimming with innocence yet everything wild. Engaging with them makes me ‘Worry’ a little less and a lot more ‘Hopeful.’
“COVID-19.” This word.
It never meant more than just a word to my eight-year-old until his mother was affected, and for the first time in his life, he had to stay away for two weeks. My two-year-old, who hasn’t got a chance to move out of the house much, only understands that this world has trees, birds, animals and a few people who love her. And, Mother. Well, Mother is always there! “I want Mumma,” I think I heard her every day from behind those closed doors. Or was it just my mind playing tricks? Or maybe in my heart, I knew that they are my anchor to lift me every time I feel I am sinking. It was rather me, every piece of me longing to be with them.
Last year when I was infected, things were challenging for us; being away was painful for me more than I could ever express in words. However, All this while, all I knew was that I had to bounce back for these two little lives; all I knew was their little world as they draw, which is a lot nowadays, comprised of only their Mumma and Papa. All I knew was that I am still needed here.
I look back today and feel grateful for all the help, care and support I received during those trying times. I am thankful for the people who checked up on me every day. I am grateful that I got to hug my babies once again. But, I know my pain was minimal compared to the grief that our country was facing at the time. As we are moving towards the new normal and getting accustomed to co-existing with the novel versions of viruses, I keep praying and hoping that no matter what, the faith that we carry in our hearts never waver.
We might be once again retreating into the world with a few fears and inhibitions because of the past, but these little eyes weaving big dreams are only looking forward and, I am playing my tiny role.
